Love Decisions: Mind Made Up

1. Before I start this

Post, I wanna say Happy Pre-Turkey Day. I also wanna say that the history behind this holiday is deplorable (“here’s some food… and some smallpox”…etc.)

But I am writing this post to say that I

Am no longer wondering about dating and relationships. No, not because I have magically found myself a boyfriend.

I am no longer wondering, because I realized… I have a life. I have WAAAY more important things to be thinking about. My music, for starters, and my hobbies, and my studies, and just the million other things going on in my life.

2. That does not mean I 

am closing myself off to potential matches. Quite the contrary in fact. I simply realize I am happy. As. I. Am. I am not worried about my peers or some misguided internal clock telling me I am behind. I literally don’t hear it anymore, and I couldn’t give less of a damn about it now. I am writing from a place of relief and confidence, to be honest.

3. I was internalizing

The strange crap people tell me about being ‘too accomplished’ or ‘intimidating’ at 21 years old. I was feeling agitated and annoyed by the guys who stare at me but never approach, even though I smile and am friendly. But something happened to me recently that has changed my outlook.

+ I realized something important:

I can be glorious.

I can be amazing and achieve anything I want, and I literally don’t have to apologize for it. And I don’t have to meet some relationship standard. And I can  be as fucking fantastic as I want. I can be the superhero I’ve always wanted to be. If that is intimidating, so be it. I gain no joy from pretending to be smaller than I am. IN SHORT: I don’t give a crap. And I love it.

I chase my own ideals. And that’s all I need. :) There’s still room for family, friends, colleagues, and love. But… I won’t be putting myself through contortions to get those things. A guy can either get on this bus or hop off – his choice, but I am not dragging him with me, and I’m not feeling bad about it either. I wish everyone true love, happiness, and joy.

À plus tard,

Lauren